Leonardo DiCaprio is one of the finest actors of our time. He deftly transitions from serious dramatic actor in one movie to serious dramatic actor in a different movie. He’s well known for his roles as a lonesome man with a sad past in Inception, a reclusive man with a sad past in Shutter Island, or a solitary man with a sad past in The Revenant, for which he won an Academy Award.
Not to be confused with his role in The Departed, where he played an unsociable man with a sad past
Yes, Leonardo DiCaprio heightens the genre of drama with every film appearance, and his reputation as one of the world’s greatest thespians brings flocks of art connoisseurs to the theatres to watch him flawlessly execute his craft in the way that only Mr. DiCaprio can.
Also, he makes the people fantasize about naughty things.
Above: A dramatic master, suffering for his art
It goes without saying that Leo’s fans love him as much for his looks as they do for his acting, and probably much more so. And with good cause – the man is handsome. His movies have pulled in more than 2.5 billion dollars, showing once again the power of sex appeal.
Steve Buscemi movies have much lower average earnings
So, let’s take a look at what makes Leo so sexy. Specifically, we’ll focus on his face.
Because this is a family site
To be honest, Leo’s forehead is pretty huge. I don’t like to point out flaws in a person’s aesthetic appearance, even for the sake of comedy, but it has to be noted that Leo has what would generously be called a five-head. Maybe even six or seven.
Doesn’t help, Leo
This large, sloping forehead is pretty masculine-looking, and there’s a lot of research on why masculinity is attractive. Masculine facial features are thought to be linked to testosterone, which suppresses the immune system. Men who can handle a lot of testosterone must have good immune systems, and women might like to tap that because their resulting offspring may get these good genes. Masculinity is therefore attractive, QED.
Behold, the true face of beauty
Leo’s eyebrows are thick and sturdy, as they have hold up all that forehead. Full, protruding brows are another signal of testosterone. They are oddly arched, though, peaking in the mid-brow region so it looks like Leo has the McDonald’s logo stapled above his eyes. It sort of looks like he’s always in a mild state of surprise. In any event, Leo’s brows work well for him.
It could be a lot worse
This is truly Leo’s bread and butter. His forehead and eyebrows may scream Neanderthal man, but he has the sweet soulful, blue eyes of a majestic white tiger, if they had blue eyes. Those eyes tell you that everything’s alright, he knows what you’re going through, and he’ll be there for you. If his upper face looks masculine, the brightness of his eyes are an incongruous dose of femininity. Feminine features, by the way, can also be attractive.
Especially when paired with anachronistic Shakespeare dialogue
The same testosterone that make a face look masculine and signal good genes can also make a man angry, selfish, and less faithful to their partners, like Leo in J. Edgar or The Wolf of Wall Street. Feminine features correlate with kindness, helpfulness, and romantic commitment, like Leo in Titanic. And possibly better with kids. Leo’s eyes are everything you want to take home to meet your parents.
Don’t take just his eyes, mind you
His Mid-Face Region
There’s a recent field of research on facial with-to-height ratio (the maximum width of your face divided by the vertical distance between your eyebrow and upper lip), which suggests that the wider your face is, the more likely you are to act selfishly, deceptively, and aggressively. The idea here is that testosterone makes your cheekbones wider and more robust, so that you will have better odds winning a fight. It’s also possible that you would get more penalties in hockey, hit more home runs, or win more fights in MMA, if you’re that rare tri-athlete hockey-baseball-cage fighter combo.
Hey Arnold would kick serious ass
Leo’s face is wider than it is long, which suggests again that he’s got more testosterone swirling around than Titanic would lead you to believe. In fact, they may have had to bang out the sides of that iron mask a bit.
“Does it come in extra wide?”
His Lower Face
Much like the rest of the face, testosterone can make for a big, square, masculine jaw, like a Dick Tracy cartoon. Leo doesn’t really have this kind of jaw. His is kind of an angular jaw, but not too pronounced, and it actually kind of morphs into some jowly baby fat on his neck, a la Richard Nixon.
Nothing says sexy like comparisons to ole’ Dick Nixon
He also has kind of a tiny mouth, which one stud researcher found makes a person look less masculine and less leaderlike. All in all, Leo’s lower face is kind of non-descript, if a little girly. Like Jack Dawson.
The sound you just heard was a million Titanic fans putting their fist through their computers
So, why is Leo so good-looking? Perhaps it’s because he offsets his masculine forehead, brows, and face width – all features that indicate strength and good genes – with relatively feminine eyes and jaw structure. Remember, masculinity is also associated with generally awful personality, because testosterone makes people ragey and selfish, typically not ideal characteristics for a love interest. Leo’s masculinity is accented with his soft side, mixing a unique blend of rugged mannishness and soulful, caring compassion. Basically, he’s what would happen if a person had a “Make My Own Boyfriend!” device, like some creepy build-a-bear.
You should catch him if you can
I should point out that face research studies reveal trends in populations, the results don’t apply 100% to everyone, so it’s not like everyone with a wide face is an angry liar or everyone with a feminine face is some deep and reflective poet. Still, the face can reveal a kernel of truth to personality, and Leo’s face says that he has the strength of Gang of New York Leo and the compassion of The Beach Leo. I think, I never actually saw The Beach.
I did see The Great Gatsby, but have forgotten everything about it. Thankfully
To sum, Leonardo DiCaprio has a face that captures your curiosity and your attention, a face that catches a tiger by the tail and won’t let go. TIA – This is attractive.
That oughta cover the rest of his movies.
Come back later, when I’ve figured out how to work in a pun about Critters 3
Dan is certainly not the King of the World. Get in touch with him at firstname.lastname@example.org with your ideas for an article.