Here are the facts: in December 2017, the United States Department of Defense declassified a secret military program that researched unidentified flying objects (UFOs). This was followed by the declassification of videos of UFOs from that program, taken by Navy pilots. This was followed by more declassified videos of other UFOs, again taken by US military personnel. The most compelling one is below, but there are others. The US military offers no explanation of what the object is in the video.
The US military also offers no explanation about why their ultra-advanced planes are equipped with video cameras from the 1940s
Here is the real question: WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS? I mean, the United States government has gone on record to say they’re studying UFOs, and released videos of said UFOs. I feel like people should be talking about this more. Because I’ve been talking about it non-stop. “Aliens!” I keep saying. “They’re here! I told you all they were here! I told you! ALIENS! ALIENNSS!!”
“Hello sir, would you like to buy some…”
“ALIENNNNSSSS!!!”
To be clear, the US government hasn’t come right out and said they think these UFOs have aliens in them. UFOs are just that – unidentified. They don’t have to be space aliens. And I guess that’s why these UFO clips haven’t been covered 24/7 – people see these videos, can’t tell what the objects are, and give a collective “meh”.
Meanwhile, Trump wants to build a wall in orbit to prevent illegal space immigration
But come on, look at that video. What else could that thing be? As we’ve done with other semi-believable things, let’s consider some options, then discount them immediately before arriving at the conclusion I wanted from the beginning.
Prepare the straw men!
A Drone
I’ve read a few theories that the objects in these videos are drones. In fact, one of the pilots in the video above says as much to begin the video, before becoming more appropriately awed. But the average commercial drone gets up to 30-40 mph, and it’s pretty clear the object in that video is going faster than that. Also, it seems to be flying above the clouds, which, while technically possible, is apparently pretty hard to do, and even more so back in 2004 when this video was shot. I’m going to write it off, it’s not a drone.
Also, it’s literally impossible to fly a drone anywhere without it getting stuck in a tree
A Meteor
There is a whole Wikipedia section about people mistaking meteors for alien spaceships. But this can’t be the case here. The object in the video is clearly moving by guided flight, and it actually rotates on a vertical axis at one point. We did have an asteroid from outside our solar system pass us by a few months ago, but the thing in the video isn’t that. It’s not a meteor.
Meteors killed the dinosaurs. I’m not letting them take aliens away from me too
A Military Craft
Militaries are always experimenting with weird stuff, and have a history of coming up with insane designs for aircraft. But one thing torpedoes the whole military theory – the US government. Remember, they declassified these videos and stated for the record they didn’t know what the objects were. If the US had even a hunch that it was an experimental aircraft from a foreign state, they would let the world know they were aware of said craft, and that they had better ones themselves. This is not a government known for classy understatement regarding military technology.
Exhibit A
Also, it would be quite a damning indictment of the US Navy if their pilots couldn’t identify other military craft, right? That’s kind of a big part of being a combat pilot.
So if we rule out drones, meteors, and military aircraft, where does that leave us?
ALIENS!!!
Yep, that’s right. For once, aliens is the argument that makes the most sense. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Luis Elizondo, the man who ran the Pentagon’s secret UFO program, believes that “we may not be alone” and claims the recent videos are only a few of a much larger pile of compelling evidence. This isn’t some crackpot tinfoil-hat man, this is a man charged with leading a 22-million-dollar project for the most powerful defense department on Earth.
That, my friends, is the goatee of a credible man
The US has been studying UFOs since the 1940s, and here’s a whole list of other countries that have declassified UFO research from their own federal agencies (including Canada!) There are literally thousands and thousands of documented UFO cases, declassified and publicly-available, many of which are hard to explain without aliens.
And I know, because I’ve read every one of them. Take that, teachers who said I’d never accomplish anything!
“So what are you saying Dan, you fringe-dwelling quack?” you might say. “That aliens are here, walking among us like in Men in Black?”
“Yes!” I’d shout in reply, from under the blanket in the dark, lonely corner of my basement where I’m currently writing this from. “In fact, I believe that movie is based on truth! In fact…” and then I’d launch into a rambling tirade about the secret government agencies that have known about our alien visitors for decades, before you tuned me out completely.
This would also serve as a pretty accurate recreation of most of my first dates
But the beauty of it is that you don’t have to listen to me. You can listen to the Navy pilots who shot the UFO footage above, who thought the aircraft was “not from this world”. Or the NASA scientists who believe we’ll find alien life in the next 20 years. Or this list of astronauts who have seen UFOs in space. Or Dan Aykroyd, if that’s the one person who will change your mind, for some reason.
If the evidence is good enough for Dan Aykroyd, then by God, it should be good enough for you
Most importantly, even if you don’t buy into the alien theory, educate yourself on the evidence first. Knowing the scientific (and pseudoscientific) facts about things like this is important. Don’t just shrug off a theory because it sounds insane, come up with a better one yourself. That way, when you dismiss a UFO truther as a crackpot, you will be able to do so because you know plausible explanations for why those UFOs don’t have aliens in them.
People with strong convictions about aliens are known for calmly considering all sides of an argument
But they’re totally aliens.
